i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
