My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
is wine microwaveable?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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