I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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