im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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