Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
