Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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