in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
