i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
