Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
