You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
