she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize