hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
