SEEEEXXX PLEASE
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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