Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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