she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
