McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
