I just pynch a tree in the face
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
