We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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