how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
