you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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