you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Randomize
