If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
