so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
