Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
