What did we do last night that was yellow?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize