Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
