and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
