You made me cry and you don't even care
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
