i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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