You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
