the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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