Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize