i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
