dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize