I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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