I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize