her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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