she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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