did you get engaged???
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
