I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
