wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
