I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
