And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
