im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
