The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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