fuck your aforementioned shoe
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
