Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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