I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
