We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
