It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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