I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
