Sponge bath it is.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
