I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Randomize