so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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