I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
