The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
