I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
