WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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