Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
