Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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